Diego Moreno is one of those who always believed in the healing power of kisses and hugs. Especially those of his daughter Mercedes, 13 years old. Today, however, you must be content with kisses and hugs.
, who are sent daily with their daughter by WhatsApp -he from his girlfriend’s house and she from the home he shares with her mother- because the others, the real ones, are contraindicated because of the new
Moreno’s impossibility is shared by many parents who, in times of pandemic, must pause the
right to be in contact with your children
from the moment the
. Although the letter of the Decree of Need and Urgency stipulates certain exceptions, the spirit of the rule is the greatest possible safeguard for the entire population to flatten the contagion curve.
Furthermore, the scope of the quarantine is having
harmful effects on the economy
, with a clear impact on the income of thousands of Argentines, be they informal workers, employers or employees in a dependent relationship. What if those parents must pay a
The extension of the period of isolation until after Easter makes this and other questions resonate louder, without a clear answer. In the case of families with separated parents, the challenge is clear, how to reach an adequate balance between different
: the right to health, food, and the right to communication between parents and children.
Be away to protect her
The daily life that Moreno maintained with his daughter before the pandemic is not the rule among separated parents: he took her away every day of the week from school, they ate lunch together and they also shared the weekend every 15 days. Today that daily life misses horrors.
“The announcement of the quarantine took us by surprise. We were having dinner at my house in Caballito. After dinner I took her to her mother’s house, in Villa Pueyrredón, and I came to live at Natalia’s, my girlfriend, which is eight blocks from where my daughter lives, as a way of not going through the quarantine alone and also to be near Mercedes in case something happens. Being so close and not being able to see her is ugly, horrible. But I understand that it is a way taking care of it “, explains Moreno, who works independently in automotive electronics and also plays the banjo in three music bands: Gypsy Vanner, Calabian Brass and Barbosa Bros.” Like many people, today I have practically no income. And not knowing How long the quarantine will last generates a lot of uncertainty. If this lasts until May, I don’t know how I will be able to pay for my daughter and mine, “he adds worriedly.
Moreno says that yesterday she went to the house that her daughter shares with her mother to bring them money. “My daughter’s mother is an administrative employee in a company and she told me that her salary was cut in half. It is very complicated. Instead of depositing her money, I preferred to go to see how they were doing and I went into the house. Fear. Sitting more than a meter away and not being able to hug her to take care of her is ugly, horrible, “he admits.
Although the economic situation generates a lot of uncertainty, he is confident that things will come together. “This comes out working. Whoever works, will be able to start,” he adds confidently via WhatsApp, the same means of communication that today allows him to be close to his daughter despite everything.
Preserve physical health
The head of Family Court No. 25, Lucas Aon, believes that, in his 32 years as a judge, no other situation he has lived compares to our present. “We never had to face a quarantine of these characteristics. It is an unthinkable situation of which there is no previous experience. And the resolutions that are being taken tend to preserve the right to physical health,” says the magistrate, who is not unaware of the multiple repercussions that this pandemic is having outside the field of health, as is the case of the economy.
“Food law is a priority. But in this situation, if payment becomes complicated, it is necessary to be flexible. This is true for those who have to pay as well as for those who have to administer. Obviously, payment must be privileged, if not it can do everything, from what it can. And whoever receives it, must administer the best it can. Afterwards, what was done at this time will be reviewed, “adds Aon.
Food law is a priority. But in this situation, if the payment becomes complicated, it is necessary to be flexible.
Lucas Aon, family judge
For her part, the Conicet researcher and expert in family law, Marisa Herrera, considers that we should not lose sight of the fact that we are facing a situation of extreme responsibility that requires, above all things, patience. “As it is well said ‘the vaccine is all of us’ and the social responsibility to take care of children of any possibility of contagion is clear. Therefore, legal professionals as well as psychology professionals should collaborate in accompanying these measures when lowering the expectations of litigation and containing the anguish that comes from being unable to hug a child for a while. Furthermore, we must not lose sight of the advancement of technology that, although it does not replace presence, face-to-face, at least allows us to have fluent communication through different digital media “, analyzes Herrera.
Thanks to technology, the distance between Fernando Bruni and his daughters Valentina, 9, and Josefina, 6, who are quarantining together with Paz Cazaux, the girls’ mother, is shortened.
Professionals in law as well as in psychology should collaborate in accompanying these measures by lowering the expectations of litigation and containing the anguish produced by being for a time if
Marisa Herrera, specialist in family law
A psychologist by profession, Bruni argues that if a separated father lives near his children, he would recommend that he not panic and try to keep in touch without breaking the rules. “Unfortunately, this is not my case. They live in Villa Pueyrredón and I, in Palermo. So, anticipating what was going to happen, we agreed with the mother that the girls stay with her all the time during the quarantine. Especially as that the possibilities of transportation were getting shorter, this was the best way to protect them, “he maintains.
Before the pandemic, he would withdraw girls from school one to two times a week alternately, stay with him until the next day, and take them to school. They also spent a day and a weekend night together. The change with this present of virtual contacts is resounding. “I am still mourning for not seeing them. But as a father it reassures me to know that I am doing the right thing. If this extends more than we should, we will be seeing. The situation is very dynamic and we will have to see on the fly,” he adds. .
Cazaux agrees that staying her daughters with her was the best decision for everyone. “The three of us have a routine. When I have to work, they put their games together. Luckily Valen helps me a lot. Jose sometimes gets a little bored, but both understand that work is important,” adds Cazaux, a psycho-pedagogue at profession and general coordinator of an institution that works with children with disabilities.
So far, the girls’ means of communication with their father has been video calls. “They maintain more or less the same regularity of contact as when they saw him. They are also called by his paternal grandparents and also by his paternal aunt. They are in contact with everyone,” he says.
Although, at first, decree 297/2020 that established compulsory isolation raised doubts regarding the situation of children of separated parents, a later resolution, 132/2020, framed it in exceptional cases.
“The restriction provided in the DNU does not apply if, when it came into force, the child was in another address than that of his or her center of life or is the most appropriate to comply with the quarantine. (.) In addition, it does not apply if Some of the parents for work reasons, assistance to other people or other causes of force majeure must be absent from the home. (.) The regulations also take into account health issues, in which case children and adolescents may be transferred to the house of the other parent, always prioritizing non-circulation “, can be read in the
of the government.
Sources from the Ministry of the Interior assured this media that, until now, no cases have been opened for a quarantine violation when it came to parents transferring their children.
The truth is that the extension of the period of isolation, announced last Sunday, is experienced with anguish by many parents who are prevented from seeing their children. It was precisely the prolongation of this uncertain scenario that led Alejandra Seminara and Javier Frazzetto, separated 5 years ago and parents of Jazmín, 9, to look for a more bearable alternative for everyone.
Until last Saturday, despair at times won the pulseada to Seminara, who lives with Jazmín in Villa del Parque. “Being a commercial employee, my salary fell a lot and my expenses got higher and higher. Besides, I was alone for everything: work, Jaz’s chores, cleaning the house,” she recalls.
It was then that Frazzetto proposed that they both go to quarantine with him. “Before we did not get along well, we separated for a reason. But given this exceptional situation, we both were able to keep our ego in our pockets and understand that this was the best option,” reflects Alejandra.
In dialogue with
, Frazzetto -entrepreneur in the food and transport sectors, and also an agricultural producer- says that another reason that led him to make this decision was the certainty of knowing that, during the period of isolation, it was going to be increasingly difficult see your daughter. “The most logical thing was to accompany us in this situation. We are in a very complicated moment, from which we can only leave together, I say this on a personal and social level. We have to be able to sustain each other and spend this time in the best possible way, in a highly worrying context, “he says.
“I know that I can handle everything, but better to spend this moment as a family,” adds Seminara. “Jasmine is happy, although she knows that once the quarantine is over, we return home. But in a situation as complex as this, the best is to put the differences aside and ally yourself with yours. ”