LN – Adoption: more than 400 boys and girls count the days to find a family

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A 16-year-old teenager from Corrientes, affectionate and cheerful, who loves to draw and sing. He is in second year of high school and learning to cook.

Four brothers of 14, 11, 8 and 6 years. The three older women; The youngest, male. They enjoy sports, playing outdoors and painting. They would love to meet the cinema, have many friends and read them stories before bedtime. They live in Missions and dream of being adopted together.

A very sociable boy, a fan of football, swimming and walking. He lives in the city of Buenos Aires, he is 7 years old and, although he has a delay in language acquisition, he overcomes himself day by day and seeks support to continue learning.

All these stories have something in common: they are children and adolescents who, housed in homes, count the days waiting for a family that gives them care, love, security and the possibility of fully developing.
Their cases, like many others, are disseminated through public calls, Open calls to the entire community that are intended to find a family for boys and girls who find it harder to find one.

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For the judges, they are the last resort, the one they turn to when all search instances within the network of registrants for foster care are exhausted. Currently, there are almost 300 open calls throughout the country, which include about 407 children and adolescents.

Those who wait are not newborns or babies under two years of age, without any health problems, without siblings or “a piggyback past,” as the vast majority of those who sign up to be adoptive parents look for.
They are preteens, teenagers and groups of siblings who do not want to separate, but also children and youth with disabilities or more or less complex health problems. Everyone urgently needs to guarantee their right to grow up in a family:
There are more than 400 who are ready to be adopted.

On the page of the
National Directorate of the Single Registry of Aspiring Guardians for Adoptive Purposes (Dnrua), which groups all public calls in the country – except those in the province of Buenos Aires, which
They have their own website – there are currently 129 open orders. Of these, 30 are from sibling groups and include 197 children and adolescents.

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On the other hand, in the
web of the Judicial Power of the province of Buenos Aires, that incorporates the information of the Central Registry of Aspirants to Guardians with Purposes of Adoption of that jurisdiction, there are about 163 in course. They include 25 groups of brothers and 210 boys and girls. In addition, there are five requests for tutors and emotional references.

Contrary to the myths that were installed strongly in society – as “in Argentina there are no boys to adopt” or “the bureaucracy is huge” -,
Behind the numbers of the calls are the stories of pain, disagreements and rights violated.

Fabiana Isa, psychologist and general coordinator of the Outreach Program for the Care of Children Deprived of Parental Care of the Faculty of Psychology of the UBA, underlines that adoption has nothing to do with the impossibility of conceiving. For her, that is the main misunderstanding. “Currently, the focus is still on the desire of adults to have children and not on the right of children to have a family. That is why it is key to raise awareness about what adoption is: an institution that was born to guarantee them children and adolescents that fundamental right, “he says.

It is key to raise awareness about what adoption is: an institution that was born to guarantee children the fundamental right to have a family

Fabiana Isa, adoption specialist psychologist

In this sense, María Teresa Veltri, defender of minors and incapable of the Public Ministry of Defense, points out:
“There are many people who believe that Argentina cannot be adopted. That is one of the myths linked to adoption. Given the impossibility of obtaining files in the records, what better than a call? “

Extend the search

When a judge dictates the situation of adaptability of a boy, girl or a group of siblings, the search begins in the register of applicants of the jurisdiction to which the boys belong. In case no suitable file is found among those registered, it is extended to the nearby regions and finally to the whole country.

If it is not successful after an exhaustive search between the network of registrations, the calls are opened, a tool that began to be used in the last ten years and to which both those who are registered to adopt and any other person who considers that they are in conditions to do it.
In all cases, applicants must go through a rigorous selection process, with interviews and evaluations.

Isa believes that the calls are a great way to respond to the waiting children. “They are one more resource, but for me it is spectacular, because
We can't tell the boys 'we didn't find a family for you in the records' or 'I got you a family, but you have to lose some little brothers along the way.' Today the spirit is another“, he says. And he adds:” It is very effective because there are many people who, when they see a specific situation, call. The work articulated with the media is key, preserving the child and taking advantage of that resource that allows us to receive dozens of applications that we would never otherwise achieve. “

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For the specialist, the most striking thing is that in general those who submit to the calls are already registered to adopt, but they are “invisible” to the system, because they sign up for another profile of boys. “However, given the specific request, they are encouraged and come,” he says.

Veltri agrees with Isa that it would be important for judges to make more calls provided that no families have been found within those registered in the records: “This is what I required several times, especially when it comes to sibling groups whose only healthy bond is the fraternal, “he explains.

A reality that challenges

For Karina Leguizamón, president of the Council of the Rights of Girls, Children and Adolescents of the city of Buenos Aires – on which depends the Unique Registry of Aspirants for Guardians with Adoptive Purposes (Ruaga) -, the calls make visible a harsh reality that challenges us as a society

“They are a useful tool, but evidence that all of the above did not work and that there are children for whom it is difficult to find adults willing to start a family with them,” says Leguizamón.

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The calls make visible a harsh reality that challenges us as a society: that there are children for whom it is difficult to find adults willing to start a family with them

Karina Leguizamón, Council of the Rights of Children and Adolescents of the city of Buenos Aires

Along these lines, it is worth highlighting that the majority of people sign up to adopt small, healthy children without siblings: “The call to society that proposes to publicly know the history of children who do not fall within those parameters impacts, sensitizes and led to many people to reflect on the concept of adoption and think about it from a more inclusive perspective. “

According to the latest data from Dnrua, there are 3807 files of people registered in the country to adopt. Of these, 877 are from a single applicant and 2930 from two (include marriages, cohabitation unions and unmarried partners).

88.73% are willing to adopt children up to one year and 90% up to two. The contracara is that only 6.07% would accept boys or girls up to 10 years and only 0.26% up to 13.

On the other hand, 46.60% are registered for only one child: only 3.47% would accept up to three siblings and 0.18% (seven applicants) to four or more.
With respect to the health conditions of children and adolescents, 82.74% would not accept that they had any disability or illness.

In this context, Laura Salvador, of the civil association
Being a Family for Adoption, says that from that organization they work every day to
raise awareness of the possibility of expanding the availability of those who wish to adopt so that in this way the need to reach a public call is less. ”
It is very hard to think that behind each call there are boys who reach the last chance to find a family“reflects Salvador.

The specialist – who is also a mother for adoption – clarifies that the calls do not make visible all children who have decreed their adoptability status, but only those who, due to different conditions (health, age, number of siblings ), no possible families are found in the list of applicants. “Sometimes a call mobilizes in the applicants the possibility of thinking about expanding the adopted availability expressed at the time of registering, and from that perspective it is also a tool for adults to see possibilities not imagined,” he describes.

He tells the case of a marriage that they accompany from the association, who began to think about the possibility that his adopted son had some type of disability. “The woman was informed about the autism spectrum disorders, they wrote down and adopted. Otherwise, that boy would have gone to a public call. We bet that with an awareness and accompaniment work people can expand the adoptive parental capacity,” holds.

According to Salvador, if the availability is wide, the applicants are usually summoned by the courts in a short period of time: “A little while ago, a homoparental couple who signed up to godson a child up to 12 years old, called her 13 times, from different courts, in two weeks. “

If the adoptive availability is wide, they call you quickly. A homoparental couple who signed up for a child up to 12 years old were called 13 times, from different courts, in two weeks

Laura Salvador, from the civil association Ser Familia por Adopción

The calls are not only disseminated in the media and on the Dnrua page, but they usually become viral on social networks.
For those consulted, one of the keys to success is to avoid the “cold” descriptions that some courts used to make until not so long ago and that, increasingly, are beginning to humanize.

“We have our protocol: we like to tell a story, the uniqueness of each boy, and that pays off. They don't feel it as an offer or as an exhibition, on the contrary, what they feel is that the State is taking care, that He did not forget them. We have many stories of boys who read their own calls and even choose the names they want to appear with, since they can't get the real ones, “says Isa.

Listening and working with the boys in that search is key. They do not feel it as an offer or as an exhibition, on the contrary, what they feel is that the State is dealing

Fabiana Isa, adoption specialist psychologist

Change the paradigm

Federica Otero, former director of Dnrua, psychologist and adoption specialist, explains that the reason why there are still so many open public calls is because
it is necessary to modify the adoption paradigm, “to really promote it from another place and that people willing to adopt children with the needs of those who are waiting today come to sign up.”

“Until a few years ago, many families came to adoption as a remedy to infertility. What we have to change that. Because adoption is an institution that was born to restore the child's right to have a family,” Otero summarizes.

Until a few years ago, many families came to adoption as a remedy to infertility. What we have to change that.

Federica Otero, psychologist and adoption specialist

One of the fundamental issues that works as a psychologist with the applicants is that what is needed for these children
“They are not desires of parentality, but of adoptive parentality.” The first, he says, is to wish to be a father or mother; the other implies wanting to be the father or mother of a child “that we already know comes with certain violations, with family needs, and incorporating them into your life as it is and with its pre-adaptive history.”

“A good adoptive family integration has to do with parents who are able to perceive the suffering, the wound of that child and recover it together in coexistence, accepting their previous life,” says Otero.

The psychologist believes that, although there is still a long way to go, in Argentina much progress has been made in preparing families: ”
Every time I see more families that I like to call 'inclusive', and that are those that have the capacity to include the child as it is. But we need to continue working, as well as with children in a situation of adaptability to know what family they want, what they need, work their fears and anxieties. If adults are afraid, imagine the boys! Myths are not only present in adults, “he reflects.

Otero believes that, when a family or a person reaches a public call, what must first be transmitted to them is the true meaning of adoption, and have sufficient resources to accompany them, without letting go of their hand.

Along the same lines, Laura Rubio, creator of
Adoption School – an organization that provides free services with specialists to those who wish to start a family by adoption and to society in general – summarizes that
It is key to work “in a new culture of adoption.”

“We come with an installed paradigm that adoption is to give children to people who cannot procreate. While the laws change, social processes are much slower and people keep thinking about babies or small children,” he says. . And he concludes: “The State has to take it as a public policy, putting all the resources to accompany the applicants in that process that allows them to give a more real offer for the children who wait and avoid reaching the public call instance.
These are the tip of the iceberg that shows us that there are children and adolescents who find it very difficult to find a family“.

FURTHER

. (tagsToTranslate) Adoption: more than 400 boys and girls count the days to find a family – LA NACION


Publicado en el diario La Nación